Teaching Children to Show Love and Respect for Others
In our "Positive Parenting" book, we discuss how we use "Love Tickets" in our home. This has worked tremendously well in our family!
If we "catch" our children doing a kind deed for a member of the family, or for someone else, then we (or another member of the family) can nominate that person for a "love ticket."
We have a stack of little square papers in a container in our kitchen cup-board. When we see our children doing something kind for someone else, then we acknowledge and thank that child for his or her kind act and write out the child's name and what they did, on a piece of paper and put it in the love jar. We use a large vase and put a big red heart on it labeled "love jar." We keep the love jar right on the fireplace mantle as a constant reminder to show love to each other.
Throughout the week, our children love to go check out the “love jar” and see how many "love tickets" each of them have earned. Each Sunday, we gather the family together for a lesson and meeting and during this family time we draw three names out of the love jar and read what each person did to earn that love ticket. The three winners receive three regular "tickets" as their reward. (The children can use these tickets to earn privileges or prizes).
After we choose out the three winners, we pull out all of the other love tickets and read all of the nice things that the children did to earn their love tickets. We holler and cheer and give lots of praise for the kind acts our children did during the week.
We were surprised to find out that our children were more excited about receiving love tickets than they were regular tickets! The use of love tickets has served several purposes.
First of all, we commend our children when we notice them doing something kind for someone else. Secondly, our children are encouraged to notice when another member of the family is doing something kind for them. Thirdly, the positive behavior is again
reinforced when we draw out the love tickets and read out loud what each child has done.
Some of the ways our children earn love tickets are as follows:
**Showing kindness or doing an act of service for someone else.
**Demonstrating an act of character such as telling the truth, or standing up to peer pressure.
**Demonstrating appropriate decision-making skills.
**Sharing a special treat or toy with a brother or sister.
**Surprising us by doing a job out of the blue like making mom and dad's bed, or picking up a brother or sister's game.
**Fixing a meal for a younger brother or sister
**Being a peace-maker
Our six year old used to always tease his little sister and it really got on my nerves! So when I "caught" him being sweet with her and even sharing his toys, I made a point to thank him and publicly announce to whoever happens to be in the room that he
just earned a love ticket! He would sometimes look up in surprise as if he didn't even realize that he was actually being nice! He now plays nicely with his sister almost all of the time and rarely teases her. Rewarding children with “love tickets” gives positive reinforcement to behaviors that we would like to see continued.
Religious leader David O. McKay summed it up succinctly in these words: "The most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your own home!"
For more parenting ideas and for more information on the G.O.L.D. Standard, refer to our "Positive Parenting" e-book available at:
http://www.FirstRateFamily.com